Hell on wheels
by Jinxgirl
Summary: Buffy takes Faith skating pre-Amends. A slow build-up into a little female/female slash... focuses on their relationship and feelings for each other. Wanting any and all critiques. A borderline PG-13/R for language/sexuality.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I will just manipulate them with my own plot a while, and then put them back where they belong.

Author Notes: This takes place sometime in the third season- after Faith Hope and Trick, before Amends. Angel has not come back yet, Faith and Buffy are getting to be good friends… and you'll see how that goes. Warning, all- this is a slow build up into a femslash scene, so if you don't like, don't read.

Chapter 1

Buffy Summers shook her head as she stepped up to the Sunnydale Roller-Rama's lobby counter, digging out the $10 it would take for both her and Faith to rent skates from her tight jeans pocket.

"I still can't believe you've never gone roller-skating before, Faith," she said with an incredulous smile. "How is that possible? Do they not have skating rinks in Boston? Seriously, I thought every kid has been to at least one birthday party thrown at one of these places. I made Mom have mine here from the time I was eight to the time I was eleven- it came right after my ice-skating Dorothy Hamill phase."

"Out of all the details of Faith's deprived, sucky childhood, this is the one that shocks you the most?" the dark-haired Slayer smirked, rolling her eyes. "For a Slayer, B, you've lived a sheltered little life, haven't you?"

Faith was smiling, her usual flippant, nothing-bothers-me expression spread across her features, evident in her confident swaggering posture. But Buffy had seen something else flicker over the other girl's eyes, a darker sentiment that she had quickly banished, replacing with her usual impish grin.

Maybe I shouldn't have gone on about her not ever going skating so much, Buffy thought a little guiltily. Maybe the whole no-skating thing had brought up some kind of bad memory for her, either a specific one, or just thoughts of her childhood in general.

Buffy didn't know much about the younger girl's past, other than the few too-casually-thrown-out comments Faith had made- none which had painted a picture of a loving, healthy home life. Buffy had tried tentatively to get Faith to talk about herself and her life a few times, having received a subtle but nagging impression that the other girl wanted to do so, but was reluctant or unsure of how to bring it up. Her mother, her father, or rather her lack of one, the neglect and/or abuse she had hinted at, the details of her watcher's death… in her own ways, Buffy had gently tried to ease into talking about the subjects with her. But so far, Faith had told Buffy only what Faith wanted her to know- which, so far, was not very much.

"Hey," Buffy said lightly as she handed the bored, slack-faced employee her money and pocketed the ticket stubs she was handed in exchange, "what can I say? I was spoiled. Only child and all that."

"Yeah, B, so was I," Faith said diffidently, but even as she shrugged, Buffy saw the flicker she had noticed in her eyes pass through once more, more obviously this time. "Only in my case, that meant scapegoat, not princess."

Buffy winced inwardly, hating that once more she had managed to say the wrong thing- something that, whether Faith would ever say it or not, had somehow affected her, maybe even hurt her. Turning more serious, she looked at the dark-haired girl and said in a less flippant tone, "Faith- look, I'm sorry if-"

"Hey, no pity act, B, you hear?" Faith interrupted, cocking an eyebrow and lifting her chin. She was still smiling, an eyebrow cocked in seeming amusement, but Buffy saw the set of her jaw muscles. The younger girl clearly meant what she said, was bristling at Buffy's awkward attempts at concern. "It's no big deal or nothin'. No one took me skating as a kid, so what? I'm going now, right?"

"Right," Buffy agreed quickly. "You'll pick it up quick, I bet. You're the athletic type."

"Bad enough I'm letting you pay my way," Faith went on teasingly, giving Buffy a tap on the shoulder with her knuckle as they moved through the lobby door into the main skating area. "Not my usual kind of date. Usually it's feed me and fuck me- and the food part, that's if I'm lucky. If he's a real gentleman, you know? Then again, you're not my usual type of date either, B," she needled, poking the older girl's shoulder once again as they got in line to get their skates.

Buffy wanted to wince once more at Faith's words- for she had no doubt they were true. She had only known the other girl for a couple of weeks over a month, but she had heard and occasionally witnessed more of Faith's casual attitude toward sex and dating than she felt comfortable with. She knew the younger girl professed to care nothing about the guys she had been with, claimed that she enjoyed sex simply for the sake of sex, but Buffy wasn't so sure she believed her. Sometimes she almost thought that Faith behaved so promiscuously just to shock people, or to have some kind of control over guys. Almost like she was trying to prove something to everyone- maybe even herself. And some of her stories… well, they sounded so outrageous that Buffy suspected they had been made up entirely. At least, she hoped they were.

She hated to think why Faith might feel the need to constantly have sexual power over guys, to "prove" how much she liked sex. The girl had never said a word about being sexually abused as a child or young teen… but between her scattered depictions of her poor background, alcoholic mother, and the parade of her mom's boyfriends in her life, Buffy could put everything together enough to form a strong suspicion. One that made her stomach squeeze and her heart twist in discomfort.

"Well, sorry if you're disappointed, Faithy, but this date's gonna be different," Buffy said lightly, briefly slipping an arm around the tank-topped-clad girl's bare shoulder and giving her a quick squeeze. Faith gave her a wrinkled-nose scowl.

"Did you just call me FAITHY?"

"It kinda slipped out," Buffy said innocently, taking her arm back to her side. "What, you call me B!"

"Call me that again, and my FIST might slip, B," Faith threatened, but Buffy could see the smile in her eyes, her usual mischievous gleam.

"Yeah, like you'd really be able to catch me, your first time on wheels-"

"Oh, you think? You just try me, B!"

The two Slayers bantered back and forth for a few more minutes as they waited in line, and as irritated as she pretended to be, Buffy could feel herself smiling, her posture loosening. She loved how just being with Faith, sniping back and forth with her, had this effect on her.

Ever since Buffy had sent Angel to hell, she had had such a difficult time being able to just let go of herself at times. It had seemed impossible for her to stop remembering, to be okay for five minutes, let alone to smile and have fun with her friends. They had meant well, of course, and they had tried to help her, tried to be there for her- but it somehow had only made her feel worse. It had made her feel guilty for not being able to be a good friend to them anymore, to be able to snap out of it and be the fun, funny Buffy for them that she had always been before.

But then Faith had come along, and with her, it had been different. With Faith, moping and feeling sorry for herself just didn't seem an option. For one thing, the other Slayer would have had no patience for it. And for another, around Faith, Buffy just didn't seem to remember her misery, let alone feel like she was drowning in it.

In just a few weeks, Buffy had come to care for Faith more than she would have predicted at first. Whether because they were sister Slayers or not, the girls had a strange, nearly tangible connection, a kind of sparkage that both could not really explain to others. Buffy did not yet know Faith well, but already she felt close to her.

Today, by some miracle, Joyce Summers had agreed to let Buffy borrow her car- but only under the condition that Faith, and not her daughter, would be driving it. Buffy wasn't really sure that Faith even had a license, but she hadn't questioned her. She also hadn't known whether to be relieved that her mother had allowed her to take the car, or insulted that she would trust someone as clearly reckless and impulsive as Faith over Buffy when it came to her car and driving skills. Whatever the case, she was glad to just be doing something with the other girl. Something other than slaying- something that should be purely fun. Of course, they had gone dancing together at the Bronze, but never just the two of them. And Faith had been a much more confident dancer than Buffy. Buffy was looking forward to seeing the younger girl try out something that would have to finally shake up her cocky self-confidence a little.

The girls handed the staff member their ticket stubs and were handed their bulky rental roller blades. They walked over to sit at one of the rink's several benches, and as Buffy quickly began to lace up her shoes, then pull the straps tight, she began to give Faith tips.

"Rollerblades are actually easier than rollerskates, Faith. You have to get a rhythm with your feet going is all. In and out. But don't let your ankles collapse inward, that'll give you soreness later. Just-"

"I think I'll be able to figure it out, B," Faith cut her off with another of her all-too-abundant smirks. "I mean, I kick serious ass slaying whatever evil thing wants to rear its big ugly head every day. How hard could it be to walk on wheels a little? Look at all the little kids out there- how freakin' hard could it be?" she asked, gesturing at three or four elementary kids who had just took off past them.

Buffy just smiled wryly; she knew from personal experience how "easy" it was for most at first, and she hoped Faith was about to find out as well, if only to wipe some of that cockiness off her face a while. She wondered if the other girl knew how to ride a bike. Maybe she should teach her that next. It wouldn't hurt her to take her down a peg or two occasionally.

"Faith, you're going to need to pull your straps really tight," she instructed. "If they're not tight enough, your ankles will cave in, and you'll be more likely to fall."

"I've got it, B," Faith insisted as she finished tying her second shoe. "Let's get this party started."

She started to stand with her usual speed, apparently under the mistaken impression that it was no harder to stand in rollerblades than on her own feet. The brunette wobbled badly, one of her feet sliding backward, and she thrust out her arms quickly, balancing herself. Buffy laughed, more from the startled wideness of the other girl's eyes than from her near fall. She noticed wryly that, as she had warned her, Faith's ankles were already turning in.

"Oh, you really got it, huh?" she snickered. "Just like all the little kids out there, right?"

"Shut up, blondie," Faith glowered, but she couldn't make her eyes match her words, and the dimples in her cheeks threatened to show themselves. "Give me a few minutes and I'll be racin' laps around your scrawny ass."

"Faith, let me do your shoes better," Buffy said again. "Keep them like that and I promise no victory laps will be had."

"All right, all right, MOM," Faith muttered, but she sat down, albeit a bit more of a dramatic flopping than an obedient perching. Buffy knelt before the younger Slayer's feet, undoing and then redoing her straps and pulling them tight, then retying her laces as well.

"There, that should be better," she muttered, straightening.

"Yeah, now that you've cut all circulation from my feet," Faith rejoined, wiggling her toes for emphasis. "Is that all part of your master plan? You really hate to lose, don't you, B?"

"There's no danger of that, Faithy," Buffy shot back, grinning to herself at the other girl's narrow-eyed glare. "Come on, it's time you showed me some of those impressive skills."

She took Faith's hand, pulling her firmly but carefully to her feet. The other girl wobbled again, her easy smirk slipping as her hand tightened on Buffy's, and she grabbed the blonde's shoulder with her other hand. Her hand felt very warm against Buffy's mostly bare shoulder, and for some reason, the older Slayer nearly shivered.

"In and out, Faith," Buffy told her again, demonstrating. "It's a little harder on the carpet- you'll see when we get over to the actual skate floor part."

"Whose idea was it to make shoes with wheels?" Faith muttered, her earlier confident attitude already having made a U-turn as she gripped Buffy tightly, awkwardly attempting to walk in the rollerblades without moving her legs the way Buffy was trying to show her. "Someone had a penchant for freakin' humiliation. Or did he just put them on other people as some twisted form of amusement? What made YOU so into these things anyway?"

"Hey, don't' give up on them already," Buffy laughed as she led the other girl to the skating floor edge, her skin tingling strangely under Faith's hands. "What happened to Faith the future roller rink queen?"

"A certain blondie did her shoes up too tight for her to be able to stand," Faith retorted, but as they drew up even with the skating floor, Buffy could see her deliberately straightening her shoulders, taking a breath, eyes narrowing in determination. It almost looked like the other Slayer was giving herself a mental pep talk, telling herself that she was going to learn to skate- and skate well- if only to show Buffy that she could.

Top of Form


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy was smiling wryly as she helped Faith step down into the skate floor, still holding the girl's warm, slightly larger hand in hers and steadying her by the shoulder before stepping down beside her.

* * *

"You'll want to stick close the walls at first until you get the hang of it," she began. "Now look- watch my feet, Faith-"

* * *

But Faith had pulled away from Buffy's anchoring hands, and was attempting to go forward a distance by herself. She had not been moving very fast, but she had started forward jerkily, and the momentum generated was enough to make the skates slide forward too roughly. Faith threw her arms out, attempting to balance herself, but it was too late. The dark-haired Slayer fell, landing on her backside, hard.

* * *

"Oh god!" Buffy gasped, her eyes wide- the fall had sounded painful. "Faith, are you okay?"

* * *

The younger girl's eyes had gone round, huge with the shock of the impact, but as Buffy skated the short distance over to her, her face creased in concern, and quite unmistakable I-told-you-so thoughts, Faith glared fiercely at the older blonde standing over her.

* * *

"Five by five, B," she said with thick sarcasm. "Just showing you my moves. You impressed?"

* * *

Buffy tried not to grin or laugh at the other girl, knowing how Faith would hate it, but she couldn't help it. It was just too much, seeing her flat on her butt, glowering evilly as little kids and preteens zoomed by her easily. From the looks Faith gave them as they passed her, she was sending evil thoughts and curses their way.

* * *

"Sorry, Faith," Buffy snorted through helpless, teary-eyed laughter as she reached the other Slayer's side, putting down a hand to help her up. "I just wish I had a camera. Your expression- it's priceless. There is no price for that look."

* * *

"Yeah, I'm a freakin' prodigy at this, huh?" Faith sneered, accepting Buffy's hand and wrapping strong fingers firmly around it. "But don't worry, B, I'm a generous girl- I'll show you how to join me!"

* * *

With that, she gave a hard yank, pulling Buffy down to the floor along with her. Completely unprepared, Buffy gasped as she fell heavily on top of the younger Slayer, hard enough to have knocked the breath out of a less strong girl, or a less prepared one. But Faith was laughing, dark eyes shining, dimples popping even as Buffy's elbow landed squarely in her chest, her heavy skate shoes knocking into Faith's leg.

* * *

"Damn, floor's rather slick, isn't it, B?" Faith called gleefully, pinning Buffy down against her with her arms, apparently not ready to let her jump up without first receiving the maximum embarrassment that Faith could wring from her. 

But Buffy wasn't embarrassed. Startled, yes, but she felt none of the anger, humiliation, or even annoyance that she knew Faith had been trying to elicit from her. In fact, she was amused, having a hard time keeping herself from grinning as widely as Faith was. The brunette Slayer's smile, when genuine, and not deliberately put on or twisted in a smirk, was contagious, and Buffy loved to see it.

She and Faith were both clad in jeans and tank tops, and she could feel the other girl's body all too vividly beneath hers, warm, soft, and yet firm and toned, slender, yet curvy… Buffy's skin tingled more pleasantly than ever, a strange buzzing rush of sensation, and she was very aware of her own breathing and heartbeat, as well as Faith's. For a few moments she was tempted to just lay her head down on Faith's chest and not get up.

What the heck are you thinking, Buffy?

Shaking herself mentally, Buffy began to make the obligatory protests and struggles to get up that she knew Faith expected, as the other girl's arms tightened around her for a few more moments, pinning her down against her. She seemed completely oblivious to the looks she was getting as people skated past them, but it didn't bother Buffy either. She couldn't understand it. When she first met Faith, the girl making such a scene would have mortified her. When had Buffy changed? And what was it about Faith that made her change, made her no longer care?

Should she really be dwelling on that?

Just as Buffy was quickly changing her line of thought, or attempting to, rather, Faith finally released her, still grinning, her eyes dancing. As Buffy got to her feet, pulling at her tank top, she extended a hand to help Faith up for the second time, giving her a stern warning look.

"Pull me down again and you'll lay there all night," she deadpanned. "I'd like you see you try to get up on your own, Miss Rebel Roller."

"Rebel Roller- is that the best you can do, B?" Faith teased as she gripped the older girl's hand, getting unsteadily to her feet. "Try hell on wheels."

"Hey, you said it," Buffy smiled, still holding Faith's hand as she also took hold of her arm. "Now we're going to go slowly at first, all right? Slowly, Faith. I'll help, all right?"

Faith shot another amused look, one that was clearly intended to convey to Buffy that she could handle it, despite her recent backfires. But there was apprehension in her eyes and the sudden tautness Buffy could see in the muscles of her mostly bare back, and she had tightened her grip on Buffy's fingers. Buffy knew the other girl was more nervous than she let on.

Still supporting her partly, Buffy began to skate as slowly as she could, exaggerating the movements of her feet so Faith could better observe and imitate. Faith's eyes were glued to Buffy's feet, but they had barely gone five paces before her own feet collided into each other. She grabbed Buffy at the waist and shoulder, wrapping her arms around her as she tried to catch her balance.

"Dammit!" she cried, and Buffy heard the frustration in her husky voice. She tried not to smile, despite her amused satisfaction at seeing Faith, who usually moved with such confidence and strength, looking so clumsy and awkward. Feeling a surge of affection and strange protectiveness for the dark-haired Slayer, she wrapped an arm around her waist, giving her another quick squeeze as she held her upright.

"Hey, I've got you. It's okay, I won't let you fall," Buffy told her, and her tone was gentler than she would ever usually speak to her. She could almost feel the girl's tension… and yet the more anxious Faith seemed to be, the looser and more relaxed Buffy felt. It was almost as if she were feeding off the other girl's need for her… almost as if it gave her a strength, a strength she neither wanted nor could obtain when by herself.

God, what was she thinking now?

"Faith, I can't move with you holding onto me that tight," Buffy said abruptly, gently attempting to loosen the brunette's hold on her. "It's okay, I'll help you- just relax a little, okay?"

"Hey, I'm relaxed. I'm freakin' Valium girl here," Faith shot back, but she did loosen her hold a little. Keeping an arm loosely around Faith's slim waist, allowing her to keep a hand braced on her slightly lower shoulder, Buffy began to try once more to skate with her.

"In and on… like this," Buffy told her, as Faith clumsily imitated her. "Good, you're doing fine. I've got you, you're doing fine. There you go…"

It took over five minutes for them to complete their first lap, and Faith's feet kept stumbling, knocking into each other and Buffy. But within another fifteen minutes, something, perhaps muscle memory, seemed to kick in, and Faith was skating more smoothly, with more confidence. Buffy grinned at her, her heart squeezing with a rush of happiness and enjoyment.

"You've got it, Faithy, look at you go now!"

Faith beamed at her, not even seeming to notice Buffy's slip of the disliked nickname. The two girls began to pick up the pace slightly, and now they were skating nearly as equals, their steps in perfect synchrony. It was almost as they were at times when they slayed together, each movement fluid and graceful, yet powerful, perfectly reflecting and complementing each other's.

Buffy undid her arm carefully from around Faith's waist, instead taking her hand and intertwining her fingers with the other Slayer's. Faith glanced at their hands in surprise, a strange hesitance and startlement in her expression, and then she laughed a little, smiling uncertainly, then more fully, and squeezed back.

Everything for Buffy seemed to be amplified then, her senses sharp, and making everything that much more vivid. The disco and blacklights, swirling colors moving around the floor and walls, seemed much brighter than they had when she had first arrived. The music playing- Crazy town's "Butterfly"- seemed to surround her from all sides, bouncing gently off her skin and causing it to buzz slightly. The physical sensation of her legs moving in and out, her hair softly swinging against her bare shoulders, and Faith's warm, slightly sweaty hand in hers, made Buffy feel almost light-headed. She could feel the adrenaline coursing through her… and she could not remember the last time she had felt so happy, so free.

Faith was clearly enjoying herself as well; her face was softer and more relaxed than Buffy had seen before, the darkness and defensiveness usually seeming to be lurking deep in her gaze replaced with a joyful shining and a wide, childlike smile. Seeing her so clearly letting down her guard for a while, Buffy felt a sudden urge to hug the other girl. Instead, she squeezed her hand again, and was surprised when Faith squeezed it back, still grinning.

"You're really smiling, B," she commented, having to lean close to Buffy's ear and half shout to be heard over the music. "You look happy!"

"I' am happy," Buffy called back.

"Why, some guy caught your eye?" Faith jabbed. "Cuz you see anyone, you know, I'd probably be willing to share…"

Buffy knuckled Faith in the shoulder, not hard enough to make her lose balance, then took her hand in hers again, squeezing once more.

"Nope, no guy, Faithy," she jabbed back. The more she said the nickname, the more it grew on her. "Just having fun. Just happy to be here with you." She squeezed the other girl's hand again, for the fifth or sixth time. Watching Faith, she saw the other girl's face soften further, seeming pleased… almost shy. As if she were an awkward preteen receiving a compliment. When Faith finally smiled back at her, Buffy's heart twisted pleasantly.

She looks so cute with her dimples when she smiles like that, Buffy found herself thinking almost dreamily. Almost sweet. She really is a beautiful girl…. Sexy.

Sexy?! Where the hell did that come from?

Her eyes had drifted from Faith's face to her cleavage, and Buffy snapped them back up again, almost stumbling. Faith grabbed her arm, stopping her from falling further.

"Watch it, B," she called, "can't have two klutzes out here, you know."

"I'm fine," Buffy told her, shaking off the other girl's hands abruptly and trying to talk down her racing heart. "You're probably just trying to cover for tripping me, huh?"

"B, if I wanted to trip you, you'd be on the floor," Faith shot back as they began to skate again… this time, without touching. Buffy saw Faith glance at her hand a few times, as if waiting for Buffy to take hold of it again. But she didn't… she couldn't. Somehow, she instinctively felt that she couldn't do it, that it would somehow be-

Dangerous? Why would it be dangerous?

Okay, stop. Now. Direct thoughts away. Thoughts away, thoughts away…

"Hey, B?" Faith yelled over the music- Christina Aguilera's "Genie in the bottle"- having to lean closer again to be heard. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Over there," Buffy pointed, grateful for the diversion. "Come on, I'll go with you."

They skated to the side of the skate floor, and Buffy took Faith's hand again briefly, helping her step up and then steady herself on the carpeted floor. Faith started to make her way with a little more trouble than on the skate floor, but Buffy took hold of her elbow, pulling her to a stop.

"We should take our skates off, Faith. Slick, wet tile floors, mirrors, and shoes with wheels are a concussion waiting to happen."

"Hey, I've got a hard head," Faith quipped, but she followed Buffy to sit at a bench, quickly untying her laces but having more trouble with her straps.

"Here, I'll do it for you," Buffy told her, kneeling before her and briefly putting her hands over the younger girl's to stop them. As she began to undo Faith's straps, she was suddenly all too aware of how close they were physically. Faith's legs and knees and feet were right near her face. She found herself flushing, her skin feeling too warm, too alive with funny prickling sensations running up and down her spine, swirling in her chest. What was wrong with her? She hoped Faith couldn't tell, didn't see her expression.

But when she dared to glance up, the other girl was looking at her intently. Something about her creased forehead, the wary indecisiveness in her eyes, made Buffy sure that the other Slayer could tell what she was thinking- or at least had a general idea. Faith looked… Buffy wanted to say afraid. And yet there was none of her usual hardness in her features… only a gentleness, an uncertainty.


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy looked down hurriedly, concentrating on the last remaining strap.

"There, I've got it," she said too loudly, too cheerfully. Faith continued to regard her.

"Thanks, B," she said. And then, with no warning as to her intention, she leaned forward, kissing Buffy swiftly on the forehead. Buffy goggled at her, feeling a strong urge to touch the spot where Faith had kissed her. She could swear she still felt Faith's lips…

"What was that?" she managed to choke out, trying to sound normal, the way Faith would expect her to, but only succeeding in sounding half-panicked, even to her own ears.

"Nothin', B," Faith replied, grinning quickly, but there was no joy in her eyes. She almost seemed… disappointed. But surely Buffy was imagining that.

"You just looked so cute, couldn't resist. You know me, not too good with the impulse control. "

Faith stood up abruptly, jerking her head at Buffy.

"Hey, I really gotta pee, you comin' or not?"

Buffy stood slowly, nodding, trying not to think.

The two girls entered the small, shabby bathroom together, each heading into one of the two stalls. As Buffy heard the sounds coming from the other, she grew more intensely uncomfortable than before… for she was having a hard time refraining from forming visual images. What was WITH her- was Faith's constant sexual innuendos affecting her more than she'd thought or something? That must be it. The alternative… well, there just wasn't an alternative, that was all there was to it.

The two Slayers emerged from the stalls, going over to the one small sink to wash their hands. Faith glanced up at Buffy as if seeing her for the first time, laughing a little.

"Man, look at yourself, B. Finally learning to let your hair down," she said playfully.

Glancing in the mirror, Buffy realized what she meant. Half her hair, which she had pinned up with bobby pins, had come loose and was scraggling down her neck sloppily. She made a face at her reflection. She looked almost as bad as after an especially vigorous slaying.

"Well, geez, Faith, you could have said something earlier," she said, only pretending annoyance. She started to pull out the bobby pins that were half dangling, intending to take them out and fix them again, but a brief touch to her hands stopped her.

"Here, I'll do it, B," Faith said unexpectedly. "I know I never do much with my hair, but let me try to do yours again for you."

Buffy looked into the other girl's eyes, pausing. For some reason she was reluctant to let her… not because she didn't want her to, but because the very prospect of having Faith's fingers in her hair had just made her heart skip a beat. If anything, she wanted her to do it too much to let her.

Why? God, Buffy… you need to get more sleep, or more Vitamin C or something. It's just Faith. Faith, that's all- Faith!

Exactly.

When Buffy didn't respond, Faith looked away, turning her body slightly as well. Her tone was carefully casual, and she shrugged as if she could care less- but Buffy had seen the disappointment flicker across her eyes. The disappointment, and the hurt…

"Hey, whatever, you don't have to let me, I'd probably get it all tangled up worse anyway."

"No," Buffy said quickly, hating herself for her hesitance, for her utter weirdness today. "No, it's okay, go ahead. Just… just had a brain fart for a second. I'm okay."

The dark slayer hesitated, looking into Buffy's face with a slight, searching frown, her eyes clouded with something Buffy couldn't identify. Finally she nodded slowly.

"Okay… turn around, put your back to me. Face the mirror."

Buffy did as instructed, and Faith came up closer behind her; she could feel the younger girl's hand beginning to touch her hair with surprisingly gentle, careful movements, a tenderness that Buffy wouldn't have thought her capable of. She could feel the other girl extracting her bobby pins, running her fingers gently through the snarls. Faith was so close behind her that Buffy could feel the other Slayer's breasts occasionally brush her back, making her want to jump… but she held very still, nearly holding her breath. Buffy could occasionally feel the taller girl's breath, warm against the back of her head, and the combination of the feel of this and her hands in her hair, her very closeness, made the blonde almost shiver.

Buffy dared not look in the mirror, to see Faith so close behind her. Rather, she closed her eyes, almost as much to savor the experience as to avoid seeing her.

But why was she savoring it so much?

Eventually Faith's fingers stopped moving, and she slowly took her hands away, letting them drift, skimming down Buffy's neck and coming to rest with a light, uncharacteristic hesitance on her shoulders. Buffy felt her breath catch, and she opened her eyes, meeting the dark reflection of Faith's in the mirror. There was something about the way the other girl held herself so still, something subtle in her features… something that reminded Buffy of the way she had looked when Buffy had first met her. The way Faith had looked when they faced up to Kakistos, the demon that had killed her Watcher.

Faith had been afraid then… actually, she had been terrified. But what was she thinking now? Why would she be afraid?

Why was Buffy suddenly afraid?

Suddenly Faith took her hands off Buffy's shoulders, backed up a few steps, smiling a smile that looked forced. Buffy turned to look at her, relieved… and yet somehow disappointed.

"Done, B. It looks crappy, but better than hanging in your face, I guess."

"No, it's fine, Faith," Buffy told her. "It's fine… it- it looks good. Better than fine. It looks…"

Her voice trailed off; she was only half aware and in control of what she'd been babbling anyway. The blonde Slayer could not seem to stop herself from staring at her darker counterpart, looking into her eyes… why had she never really looked into them before today? How could she not have noticed the complexity of emotions tangled inside them?

Buffy found herself reaching up towards Faith's face, meaning to brush a wavy lock of hair off the girl's face. But instead, she just seemed to be leaning closer, they were almost touching once more…

And then, Buffy couldn't figure out how, but they were kissing… she and Faith were kissing, their lips soft against each other's, almost like a breath, scarcely real at all. The taller girl's face was tilted down slightly to meet Buffy's, and her eyes were closed, she was trembling slightly. Their lips met again, longer, harder this time, and Buffy didn't know how or why or who had initiated it. All she knew was that she felt happy and dizzy and chilled and panicked and confused, all at once. Every conceivable emotion rolled through her as she leaned into Faith, almost as much to keep herself upright as from pleasure.

And then suddenly Faith was pulling away, backing up. One arm was still loosely around the smaller Slayer's waist, and she looked at it, frowning, seeming confused, disoriented… and for a moment, very, very young and vulnerable.

"What… B…" she started to say, and her voice was small, breathless.

"I don't know!" Buffy blurted, too loudly, and she pushed herself away from Faith and her touch. She could feel her face reddening, her heart hammering too fast, her pulse too rapid… she could still feel her lips tingling, the sensation of Faith's full lips on hers seared into her memory.

"I didn't mean it- we didn't mean it- right?" Buffy continued to babble, and her voice was high, almost frantic, as she quickly looked at Faith, then just as quickly looked away, ears burning.

They hadn't meant it… they hadn't! Buffy was straight! Nothing against gays, but Buffy herself wasn't one, she just wasn't. And there had just been that whole thing with Angel- that must be it. This was some kind of delayed reaction to their break-up- she couldn't take it to mean anything more than that. The weirdest rebound ever, that was all. It couldn't be more than that. Especially not with Faith, of all people. Faith was her friend, but she was so different- if she was going to be attracted to a girl, it wouldn't be her. It wouldn't be Faith!

But it was her… it was Faith…

"Faith," Buffy began again, awkward, nervous, unable to meet the other girl's eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't' mean-"

"Yeah, hey, it's five by five, B, don't worry about it," Faith interrupted her, and her words were nonchalant, casual. "It's okay, I get it. The whole thing with your evil ex, it's got you a little weird. I get it. Don't' worry, I won't go tellin' everyone if you won't. You think I want it gettin' around any more than you do? 'Cuz damn, B, you might ruin my rep."

Faith laughed, but something about it sounded off. Buffy ignored it, trying to smile at her gratefully and knowing it looked forced.

"Thanks, Faith. I- you-"

"Hey, I know my sexual vibe can be intense," Faith said playfully. "I'm just too hot for you to handle is all, and you couldn't resist. If you'd just get laid more often, we wouldn't have these problems, B."

"Oh sure, that's it, Faith," Buffy said sarcastically, giving the taller girl a shove. "Shut up, will you?"

As the two girls left the bathroom, Faith was laughing, smirking… but her tone sounded hollow, and all sparkle was gone from her eyes. Buffy couldn't help but be plagued by her own thoughts.

WAS that it? Was Buffy really attracted to Faith- sexually attracted to her? And if not… why the butterflies, the sparkage, the tingling skin? Why did Faith seem so pretty to her tonight? Why did she seem unable to stop remembering the feel of Faith's lips on hers… and why was she almost aching for her to do it again?

end


End file.
